#2. Stupid friends make for stupid decisions

The last three days of my life have been SCREAMING for this addition to my rules. I'm beginning to realise that nearly everyone has one friend that they've known for a few years and in all truthfullness you only really make an effort with because they're available, occasionally entertaining and you pity them.

As with all other things that usually occur in my life I had to go above and beyond the generic and the girl who had this role in my life was a year younger than me, a compulsive liar yet too stupid to cover her tracks well and she was always the victim. So while all my other friends did the smart thing and over the years walked away for various reasons I stuck around and ended up getting dragged into the most idiotic and sometimes even dangerous situations. It was as if my need to pity her fused together my brain cells and I'd find myself doing things when frankly I knew FAR better. To let so many things slide was just stupid and to laugh about it after was clinically dumb.

So eventually things went too far and I decided to cut my losses, ignore her ass and move on. As it is with dumb people she didn't know better than to walk away quickly and the last three days have been a saga of her tears to my face, running away to drag her chihuahua friends into the mix to threaten me and eventually not making good. I mean she's so stupid she can't back herself up to my face and somehow STILL sees herself as a victim. I wasn't mean, just brutully honest and she couldn't give me a damn answer only to then have the audacity to continue being an attention seeking, drama creating child.

I'm actually kinda disappointed that I let her get to me and didn't just walk away. A friend told me a few months ago about something the Prophet PBUH once said that's stuck with me. Now I don't remember it perfectly so I'm just paraphrasing. "If you're with someone who smells bad for 40 days their bad smell will stick to you. And if you're with someone who smells good for 40 days their nice smell will stick to you."

ANNIE'S RULE #2. STUPID FRIENDS MAKE FOR STUPID DECISIONS

This can be turned around to smart friends make for smart decisions. So if you find yourself with someone who can't spell Aristotle let alone know who he is, run for the hills. They can hate him and argue against his philosophy (that's brilliant) but everyone naturally mimics the people they're with so if the person you're with is ignorant, what does that make you?

And I, for one, WILL judge you based on the company you keep.

#1 Don't show weakness

So in the past month I've gone from feeling soulless to disgusted with myself and then slowly on to just plain shit. This was up until about three hours ago when, out of sheer boredom, I started watching an NCIS run on FX. It was one of those long stories that span three episodes, I think one of them was called "Rule 51".

Now for anyone reading this that doesn't know the show it's similar to CSI but for the American Navy. The leader of the team is called Gibbs and he has about 50 rules that pop in and out of the show occaisonally. It's starts with #1 "Never screw over your partner" to # 35 "Always the watch the watchers" and #40 "If it seems someone is out to get you, the are" and Rule #51 is "Sometimes - You're Wrong". A full list can be found here: Gibbs Rules

For many reasons I've been wanting to reexamine my life. Like Gibbs has demonstrated, everyone needs a set of rules to live by. Even though there are many I'd like to make my premier rule I think I'm happy to begin with this one:

ANNIE'S RULE #1. DON'T SHOW WEAKNESS

A lot of my drama for the past month has been because I've been stupid enough to think that talking about my problems make them a little easier to bear. It doesn't, all it's done is let certain irritating poeple think they can take advantage of my vulnerability. (I say think but they pretty much did, which only created more damn drama) Also talking about them, instead of just burying them into the deep dark hole that is my soul, just made me feel more like crap whereas if I'd never upset myself by venting about them I could have worked up the energy to pretend that everything was okay and allow myself to be distracted for a while. 

I go to an all girls school so most of my friends are girls and I'm not going to lie girls are pretty much jealous bitches at their core. I'll hold my hand up I can be one vindictive little mother fucker. And it doesn't matter how much I love some of my friends, if they turned around and told me something was wrong my first response is to become very very smug. I don't mean with the really horrible stuff just the generic "Oh I'm so fat" "The guy deosn't like me back". Of course I've learnt to move passed my instincts in the past few years and can force some sympathy into myself. But I know that 90% of the poeple in my life are. My life isn't about the few it's about the many and I can't trust the many. And my life has taught me I should be wary about trusting the few as well.

Now I'd LOVE to go into minute detail about how this is the lesson learnt from my April; however it shows me at my almost worst and I need to start practicing what I preach.